In a previous post we reported about a local child molestor named Doug Drape who was convicted of repeatedly molesting his step daughter. One of our readers found the word for word statement written by the victim to this sick pedophile in the St. Petersburg Times. Here is her final message to this monster.

For two years I’ve thought about what I would write to explain how my life has changed because of my abuse. Visions of grand speeches and emotional tirades flooded my mind as I sat staring at the blank page, but in the end none of these dramatic words sufficed. This statement is no illusion of martyrdom; it is one of simple fact.

I wanted to seem untouched by all of this so people could see how strong I am, but the truth is that only the weak lie to themselves and others to suppress gruesome truths. Every day for four years I started my morning with the looming knowledge that I would be violated and that if I did not consent to my violation that I would suffer harassment and ridicule for not - as he put it - “sharing the wonderful gift that God gave me.” I had to learn how to shut off my emotions to remain sane throughout my abuse - something I still struggle with to this day. Still I have trouble opening up and expressing myself, which has had a negative affect on my relationships. For years I never cried, never honestly laughed or committed myself to affection; I instead watched on desolately as the world passed me by.

It is impossible to walk away from molestation and not be affected sexually. He taught me that love was expressed through sex and encouraged me to do such with my boyfriends; I’ve deprogrammed myself from that mindset, though it was a difficult thing to do.

Spanning far beyond these mental difficulties is the tremendous betrayal I feel from the defendant. How he could have ever thought having sex with an 11-year-old girl was justified is beyond me. I will never comprehend why he did this; I don’t think he even comprehends why he did it.

I do not understand you, I do not have any affection - or for that matter - disdain for you, and I couldn’t care less. I will not forgive you because for four years that is all I ever did as you played the victim, speaking of how much you were hurting. Your actions disgust me, but I do not dwell on what has passed any longer. I am an incredibly strong, capable young woman with her entire life spread out before her, and a few dark years during my childhood won’t undo that. I can move on without any regrets, but in your case I can’t say the same.

I am not ashamed of what happened, but you should be. My childhood was taken away from me, so now I learn to live without one. Many of my first experiences with you should have happened in the backseat of a boy’s car, but I don’t let it bother me. The shame you must feel, making me do those things to you, and you to me, in countless places.

There is one thing I can congratulate you on though - you have successfully destroyed my family. Everyone believes you Doug, they all love you - but I do think it is ironic the people you begged me to save you from are your number one supporters. . . . You can have them. I have (my aunt) and my friends, what do you have other than liars and betrayers?

I’m happy - this is the first time I can say it and truly mean it. My life is blessed and it would never have ended up this way if not for (my aunt), the only person who would believe me as I came out of such a set of circumstances and I love her for that and her support; I’m going to be attending a university on a full ride scholarship, I’ve had a successful job, wonderful friends, a loving boyfriend and an amazing passion for life - she helped me realize these rewards.

You see Doug, you didn’t hurt me. I’m leading a near picture perfect life. As I move on to bigger and better things, you’ll be moving on to jail. In the end, my life has been made richer from this experience because I can say I overcame it and smiled at the finish, and how good it feels to really smile.